Edyn (The Essence Project Book 1) Page 17

  He bent down and kissed me, pulling me close to him. When we broke apart, he said, "We’ll run home and grab the essentials, and then we’ll hide out at Stella’s for a little while before we get moving. I need Zak’s help getting a few things."

  "And we need to get your shoulder taken care of." I frowned. "It’s still bleeding."

  He waved it off. "It’s fine, I’ve had worse. We’ll worry about it when we get to Stel’s. It’s a long way from my heart."

  "No it’s not," I said.

  He thought for a moment. "You’re right, it’s not, but it’s not that bad. Worse than it looks. We’ll fix it at Stella’s, I promise." He took my hand and brought it to his lips. We started walking back down the tunnel again, right in the middle of the tracks that ran down it. "I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I won’t be so careless again. I promise I’ll keep you safe, Edyn."

  I smiled. "And the same goes for you. Obviously I can protect you just as well."

  "I know you can now. I don’t really want you to try though. I don’t want you to get hurt."

  I snorted. "Like that’s your choice."

  "I’m serious, Edyn," he said.

  "So am I."

  He sighed. "I’m not going to win this one right now, am I?"

  Laughing, I said, "Do you ever?"

  He just shook his head, and we kept walking all the way home.

  * * *

  When we got home, Ryker headed straight to the bedroom to start packing. I followed him, and he pulled a large canvas duffle bag out of the closet. He started throwing clothes in it, mostly his since I only had a few that I’d borrowed from Stella.

  He saw me eyeing him and said, "We’ll grab some more for you at Stella’s. God knows she has plenty. Will you go and grab the med kit from the bathroom?"

  I nodded silently and went to get it. When I entered the bathroom, I hardly recognized the girl in the mirror staring back at me. My hair was a windblown mess, even though I hadn’t encountered any wind, and my cheeks were flushed. My eyes were a little bit bloodshot as well. I took a moment to splash water on my face before reaching under the sink for the med kit. It was similar to the one at Stella’s but larger, clearly containing more serious stuff. I grabbed our toothbrushes and the other necessary items and headed back to the bedroom. Opening my arms, I dropped it all on the bed next to the bag for Ryker to pack as he saw fit.

  "We’re going to lay low at Stella’s until tonight and leave after dark. I’ve got some friends that live in Nashville that we can crash with. I’ll give them a call, and they’ll come get us. That’ll be safer than trying to take a bus."

  Worry started gnawing at the edges of my mind, and I frowned.

  "You okay, babe?" he asked.

  I thought for a second about lying to him and telling him that everything was fine, but decided against it. "I’m worried about you."

  "About me?"

  "Yeah. I mean, all of this is my fault. I hate that you’re caught up in the middle of it."

  He set the shirt down that he was holding and put his hands on my face. "Don’t even go there. I’ve already told you, it’s you and me forever, kid. That means forever, not just until something happens."

  I started to argue. "I know that, but—"

  He cut me off. "No buts. It is what it is. There’s nothing here for me anyway. My future is with you, whatever that may bring." His voice dropped as he brought his forehead to mine.

  We stood like that for a moment, just breathing each other in and listening to the soothing sound of each other’s heartbeats. Slowly, slowly, he kissed me, like he was asking for permission. I kissed him back, and my head started spinning. It felt like one of the only times I’ve ever had anything to drink when too much wine made my head fuzzy. My throat was hot, and I could feel the heat radiating through me. I knew what was coming. I knew that with the next kiss, the next touch, I would flare up again, and when I was with Ryker like this, I had no will to control it. The feelings stirring inside of me would build up to a raging inferno, and I was worried I would release it like I did today and hurt him.

  I broke away from him and took a step back, trying to catch my breath.

  "I’m sorry," he breathed out.

  "Don’t be," I replied. "I just don’t want to hurt you. When I’m with you it’s so much harder to control whatever this is. It scares me a little. I don’t want it to build up and me release it on you the way I did earlier at the Pits. I mean, I don’t know if I can hurt you with it since it protected you, but I don’t want to risk it until we know for sure. If I hurt you…" I trailed off.

  "Hey, come here," he said as he pulled me close. "You won’t hurt me. I know you won’t."

  I closed my eyes as I rested my head against his chest. He sounded so sure, but I wasn’t sure about anything in my life now other than him. I wanted so badly to believe him, but a part of me just couldn’t help it. He had told me before that he was too selfish to let me go, and I was starting to believe that I was the same way. I couldn’t handle life without him now that I knew what it was like with him. Still, that fear hung over me like a dark cloud, casually spitting rain to remind me of how dangerous I could be.

  "Let’s grab the last of our stuff and get going," he said. "I don’t think anyone will come looking for us at Stella’s today, but I don’t know about here. Someone could turn up any minute."

  I nodded against him, and he squeezed me tighter for a second before letting go. There wasn’t much left to grab. We didn’t have many things to take with us. Ryker pulled a few extra knives, and two handguns in holsters from a drawer and placed them in the bag. Then he found some extra magazines for the guns and one more box of ammunition. I shivered at the thought of needing them.

  "Will you hand me my bible and my journal?" he asked me.

  "Your what?"

  "Behind you on the dresser," he replied, not looking up from the bag he was packing.

  I turned to see his journal and worn, beaten bible sitting there. I ran my hand over the cover of the journal as I picked them up. Handing him the journal, I flipped open his bible. It had seen better days by far. The edges of the pages were stained and yellowed, and they were a mess of colorful highlighter and Ryker’s chicken scratch writing. Pages and pages all thoroughly examined and containing his notes.

  "Wow," I said. "You’ve really read a lot of this."

  I flipped through a few more sections and landed in the middle of the Psalms. There were various phrases highlighted, and dark ink scribbled around the edges, but right in the middle a verse was both circled and highlighted, catching my attention.

  "‘He alone is my rock and salvation. I’m not alone, I’ll never be shaken. Psalm 62:2.’" I read aloud.

  "That," he said, "was the first verse I ever memorized. It got me through a lot as a kid. It helped me stay strong living with Samuel." He looked temporarily lost in thought. "I memorized that in the car after my father had told me you died. He told me,‘People die, that’s life. Move on. We’re all alone in the end anyway.’ I refused to believe him, and then found that verse."

  I turned a bunch of pages all at once, going towards the back and landed on Ephesians. There were more notes crammed into the pages of this book than most of the others.

  "You must like this book," I said, and he turned his head to look.

  "Ephesians? Yeah. Ephesians, Galatians, Phillippians, James, they’re all really good."

  I stopped on a verse that stuck out to me. It was highlighted like many of the others, and there was nothing notable to set it apart, but I noticed it nonetheless. 1:4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.

  "We can read more of it later," he said. "Together, even. I would really like that." He gently took the bible from me and placed it in the bag. "But we really need to get moving."

  I sighed, and he zipped up the bag.

  "Ready?" he asked.

  Looking around the room, I answered him
with a question, "Think we’ll ever see this again?"

  He thought for a moment. "I really have no clue, but honestly I don’t care. Anywhere is fine with me as long as I’m with you."

  I couldn’t help but smile as I rolled my eyes. "When did you get to be so cheesy?"

  He laughed. "I’m not doing it on purpose. I really mean the stuff I say."

  We left the bedroom, and I shut the light off. I took one last sweeping glance around the living room just as Ryker was opening the door. His sketch book was on the fraying couch. I crossed the room and picked up the soft red leather, clutching the book to my chest. Quietly, I walked back to the door where Ryker was watching me thoughtfully.

  "Thanks," he said as I handed it to him.

  Shutting the door behind us, I felt so strange. I had only been here a short while, but it felt like home to me. Remembering Ryker’s words though, I silently agreed with what he said. It didn’t matter where we went or where we lived. As long as we were together, that was what was important.

  When we got to Stella’s, no one was home, but Ryker had a key. It sent an uncomfortable feeling jolting through my stomach, but I kept my mouth shut. I shouldn’t let it bother me; they were just friends now. They were just friends before, really. She just knew all his deep dark secrets that I was still learning, and it still bothered me a bit.

  He offered me the worn canvas duffle bag. "I’m not sure when she’ll be back," he said. "I need to make some calls to get everything set up for tonight though, if you want to go raid her closet."

  "Okay," I said and took it from him.

  "Just don’t take any of her super sparkly shit. She’s real weird about that stuff. Like an animal," he said to my back as I entered her room.

  Shaking my head, I thought, I didn’t know her well but that sounded like the little bit of Stella that I knew. I could see why he was comfortable with her. She was friendly, she gave no bullshit, and she was stunning. My heart sank when I pictured the two of them together. If I had never showed back up in his life, I wondered if they truly would’ve ended up together. Stella sure didn’t think so from what she told me, but I wondered if the loneliness would’ve worn on Ryker after long enough.

  I threw her closet door open and stared at her wide array of clothing. Sequined party dresses weren't exactly practical, so I settled on her section of t-shirts. I pulled about six shirts off of hangers, both long and short sleeved, and packed them in the bag. I didn’t know when I would be able to get any more so I wanted to have something warmer if it took a while and the weather started to turn colder.

  She had more jeans than I could count and in all colors. Some were simple, and some had rhinestones and stitching in various places. I opted for the more simplistic jeans, but one pair with gold stitching up the legs and across the pockets caught my eye. They were tight looking and midnight blue. I didn’t think she would miss one pair of fancier jeans.

  I threw in one extra pair of sneakers, just in case, and headed back to the living room. Ryker was already off the phone, and sitting with his sketchbook open in his lap. His hand was moving effortlessly and gracefully across the page. I could just make out what looked like the outer lines of a person when he glanced up and saw me.

  "Oh, sorry." He quickly shut the cover of his sketchbook, a flush rising in his neck.

  "For what?" I asked and took a seat next to him.

  He hesitated. "I don’t usually draw around people."

  I remembered finding his sketchbook here and couldn’t help asking "What about Stella?"

  "What about Stella?" he responded, screwing up his face trying to figure out what I meant.

  "I found this here," I said pointing at the book in his hands. "Do you draw around her?" my voice was quiet.

  He shook his head next to me. "I would draw sometimes when I couldn’t sleep if I stayed the night, or early in the morning before she woke up, but I wouldn’t draw while she was awake."

  A sharp pain was poking directly at my heart at the words, "If I stayed the night". It wasn’t something I wanted to think about.

  "It wasn’t just that, though," he added. "I didn’t want her to see what I was drawing either. I didn’t want it to hurt her."

  I turned my head to look at him, getting lost in those dazzling blue eyes that were so full of love for me. "What do you mean?"

  "Well," he said. "It’s no secret she was in love with me. I know she was hurting since I didn’t feel the same way, but she walked in the room once when I was sketching what was supposed to be you, and it was like I slapped her. It took her awhile to get past that."

  "You can draw around me, you know. I’m not just anyone else."

  He exhaled. "I know, you’re right. It was just a reflex. With Stella--"

  I cut him off sharply. "I’m not Stella," and I bit my lip as soon as the words escaped my mouth. "I’m sorry," I said more gently. "I didn’t mean to snap like that. It’s just… hard sometimes. To think about the two of you…"

  He took my hand gently in his and brought it to his lips, kissing every fingertip, his eyes closed. "I’m so sorry, Edyn. You know it’s just you and me now, but I hadn’t even really thought about how that might bother you. Sometimes I wish Stella and I had never happened, and I could’ve just waited until you came back into my life."

  I rested my head against his shoulder. "I’m not. I’m getting over it, but you wouldn’t be the same person if things had been different."

  "I would’ve been better for you," he said quietly.

  "No, I don’t think so. I think you’re exactly who you’re supposed to be for me. It’s just going to take me time to work through it." I let the smell of sandalwood and vanilla fill my nose and calm my mind. "Keep drawing," I whispered.

  He opened his sketchbook and flipped to the page he had been on. I could make out the start of a figure, its chin rested on what would later become its hand. The face was narrower, clearly meant to be a woman.

  "It’s another of you," he said. "The ‘you’ you are now, not just the version of my imagination. Do you want to read to me while I’m drawing?"

  "Sure." I stood up and went to the bag sitting by the door. After I unzipped it, I fumbled around all the clothes and my hands found his bible and his journal. I pulled them out together and set the journal underneath on my lap. "Where do you want me to read from?"

  He thought for a moment. "How about the Song of Solomon?" The corner of his mouth turned up just a little.

  "Alright," I said, flipping to the table of contents to look up its place. The scratching of his pencil filled my ears as I started to read,"‘Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine. How fragrant your cologne; your name is like its spreading fragrance. No wonder all the young women love you! Take me with you; come, let’s run! The king has brought me into his bedroom.’ This is the bible?" I asked in astonishment.

  "Mhmm. The Song of Solomon is love poetry. Keep going, I like how it sounds coming from your lips."

  "‘How happy we are for you, O king. We praise your love even more than wine. How right they are to adore

  you—’."

  Just then the door burst open and Stella came flying in, her hair a mess. That wasn’t like Stella, and I could see the anxiety on her face.

  Ryker quickly closed the book and stood. "What is it?" Mild panic was at the edge of his voice.

  "They’re coming!" Her voice was a gunshot to the stomach.

  Ryker dropped the sketchbook without thinking. "Who?"

  "Project soldiers!" she panted, barely getting the words out.

  Ryker was across the room before I could blink, rummaging through the bag. He pulled the two pistols out and attached the holsters to his belt. Following the guns, he shoved several knives through his belt and put the extra magazines into his pockets.

  "Stay here," he said in a low voice, bubbling with anger. "Where are they, Stel?"

  "Wait," I said.

  "Coming from the Pits. People ran past the salon screaming abou
t it. Some of them had blood on them." She looked faint.

  "Ryker, we need to get out of here!" I shouted.

  He came back to where I was now standing with his bible and journal clutched to my chest and put his hands on my shoulders. "I know, but they might be able to track us. There won’t be that many of them underground. I’m just going to go take care of them and then we’re going to get out of here."

  "No, Ryker, let’s just go now." I didn't want him to have to face them again if I could help it. I knew that my newly found ability could get us out of trouble if they found us, but it would also drain me.

  And I didn’t want Ryker to get hurt by them.

  He kissed me fiercely for a moment before breaking away and stumbling to the door. "I’ll be back soon, I promise. Be ready to go as soon as I get here."

  "Wait!" I cried, but he was already shutting the door behind him. I tried to run after him, but Stella grabbed me."There’s no sense in following him," she said. "He doesn’t need to worry about you out there too. He’ll come back. It’s what he does."

  Panic and the urge to protect him were wrestling in the pit of my stomach.

  "Come and sit down," she said, leading me over to the metal kitchen chair.

  Stella was looking through one of the kitchen drawers while I sat there feeling sick to my stomach.

  What if something happened? We should’ve just run!

  Then, the door opened again, and for an instant my heart soared, hoping it was Ryker, hoping he had changed his mind and come back so we could just leave.

  It was Zak.

  My heart collapsed into my shoes.

  "They should be here any minute," he said to Stella.

  "Did you pass Ryker?" she asked.

  Zak laughed. "He told me to get my ass back here and protect the two of you."

  His laugh infected Stella. "Well, help me with her really quick before they do get here."

  Her words caught my attention. Zak was crossing the room towards me, and Stella turned, having found what she’d been searching for in the drawer.